Tuesday 31 July 2007

Trust and Love

Trust. Now theres a very small but incredibly important word. I have trust issues. It comes from crappy parents and a string of crappy boyfriends, not to mention the whole ex husband thing.. but yes I admit it I find it hard to trust. Plus I get very jealous. Not good I know..

So when that special someone does something that helps you to trust them a little more it means sooo much! This guy I'm in love with did that today, and it almost killed me, in fact I'm feeling a little guilty now. But this is the first time I have asked directly for proof of love and he has given it to me.

I now have some hope that this relationship has a chance. But relationships do need work. You just can't say trust me-whatever. And expect instant trust- it simply doesn't work like that. It is important to trust but it is equally important to show you can be trusted.

Monday 30 July 2007

SMS SOS

SMS (or text messaging to you non-Danes) the wonder communication tool- fast, quick, easy unobstrusive...and very very annoying!

Take late night smsing for example, or worse still drunk smsing!! There is no way to take them back and it is incredibly easy to say something stupid to someone who really counts. Everybody has their cell phone on them at all times.. it's the law, I mean you have to, right?

So you send an sms to someone that matters- no reply... you wait and wait- no reply. ARGH what do you do?? How frustrating is that?! I mean at least with email you can think -well maybe they're not logged on.. but with a cell phone, well it's a cell phone!!!

The reply would be an affirmation that I exist.. without that reply- heck I don't exist! What does it take to make me smile? Send expensive flowers, chocolates? No, but a reply to my sms would be nice...

Relationships are difficult at the best of times, but limit communication to sms and you have a catastrophic margin for misunderstanding.. did that smiley mean he was being sarcastic? Without the subtle intonation one finds in voice communication or the glimmer one can see only in the eye, all is open to misinterpretation.

And for me this misinterpretation is doubled with my lack of Danish language skills! Imagine smsing important relationship-deciding messages in a foreign language! It's little wonder why my world is so complicated and why I am so misunderstood!

Love. It's a very difficult and fucked up thing, takes a lot of energy thinking constantly about someone, and with little or no reward most times. I envy those people that can think with their heads and not their hearts.

Sunday 29 July 2007

I want romance

Ahh romance.. a man brings you flowers, he kisses you hard on the lips, he leads you to the sofa and asks you about your day kind of romance. Sigh.

Actually I know a guy like that- but I'm in love with the other guy. The one that doesn't have time to see me, speak to me, and appears most of the time to have no interest me. I know it's just his way.. and I love him anyway.. hoping one day he will show some sign of romance. I mean this is the guy I want to marry after all...

So why piss and moan about it if you're willing to put up with it - I hear you cry? I guess somewhere deep inside I'm hoping things will change, circumstances will change and he will love me as much as I love him.

I mean I am like crazy in love with him- all I want to do is spend time with him. But I never see him. It drives me nuts. So why don't you give up and date the other guy? Hey weren't you listening- I'm in love!! Chemically, physically, emotionally- every part of me yearns for him! It's not something I have control over you know!

You crazy bitch get a life! I know ! I know! I currently have two weeks off work, and nothing better to do than think about him... and stop rolling your eyes at me- I'm sure you've been there too...

So here I am home- on "holiday" spending most of my time on the internet- pretending not to be a crazy cat lady (I have two cats..) not leaving the house or seeing anyone.. but you know what? I like it! Yeah I do!

However I'm starting to get bored with it now- so I may start eating and going out next week.. just hope the darn weather cheers up!!

Moving my Blog

Up to now I had my blog on a dating website in Denmark- not optimal and quite annoying for any boyfriends to see me logging in to a dating site everyday even though I was just blogging.. Anyway now I'm landed here and can blog to my hearts content :)

So Welcome..