Sunday, 16 August 2009

Work life balance

Back to work tomorrow... Scared even though managed to turn things around a little at work and become a huge instrument of change on the childrens unit-both by becoming a health and safety rep and making changes that way, and also by being seconded to a seclusion and restraint reduction project and producing a report entitled" In the pursuit of compassionate care- a literature review of multi-sensory approaches to reduce seclusion and restraint and promote mental health on child and adolescent mental health units" I have also been asked to do the annual report on the unit.

Its amazing watching my suggestions being used and becoming a reality. The programme seemed to have been an idea from one person which turned into a cult- not based on any evidence based research at all! So unbelievable and cruel how these children are dealt with - and by employing unskilled workers and indoctrinating them into the ways of "the programme" the cult begins and everyone does what they are told- except of course me- who was taught by her lecturer to question why she does everything and if she doesnt know or its because its always done its probably wrong :)I have a new job in a private hospital for adults. I am not sure whether to take it or whether I can stay in my desk job and make changes from the outside (which seems the only way to do it whilst keeping your sanity!)Back to work on tomorrow and find out whats what....

Also feel like Im living lots of different lives. I have one with Luke. One kind of with Craig, and yet somehow my heart always manages to jump when I hear from Christian. WHO AM I??

I need to decide who or what I want but am so scared of making yet another stupid decision Im paralysed to do anything.

If I stick with Luke I will always be older and wiser and this will always affect me but can we make it through anyway and have a family? If I leave Luke for Craig, do I even like Craig and can I keep him long enough to have a family with him. Why do I even still dream of a family with Christian, who just seems to drink-sms me.

Missing Mie and Marrianne a lot right now, miss having my good female friends, Have made a female friend at work Jenn whos Canadian and we chat mostly about how in love she is. I miss being in Love. I have nothing to write poetry about anymore...
Picture is me on some rocks in Broome, Western Australia last wednesday.


Anonymous said...

Well you could write about missing being in love... Or write about the one that got away in denmark.
Someone there still thinks of you.

Steve said...


Instead of playing guessing games, why do you not tell Angel who you are and who you are talking about, or are you talking about yourself ?


Steve said...


Well done sweetheart, thats the way to make people sit up and listen, and make changes too, Congratulations.

You hit the nail on the head with what you have said, Employers want robots, not people who think for their selves, occasionally one slips through the net and you have proved that. The big question there now is do you want to keep trying to make changes or go to the other job and see if you can improve there too ? Big decision to think about now!

If you were living lots of different lives then life would be so easy, but you only have one and need to try and make it a happy one. You talk about Luke, Craig, Christian, maybe one of them is the rite person, but maybe you haven't met the rite person yet. I know that makes things even more unclear but if none of them is the rite one then you would be making a mistake staying with one of them !

You will find love, but unlike others that find love but do not know what it is, you know the difference & will find what you are looking for, trust in your thoughts and take your time in finding your way forward into your future.

Steve x x x

ps. check your ,myspace email please.