Friday, 28 March 2008

Place in the world

Just a few thoughts. Australian men know how to treat women. They are courteous, polite, kind,sensitive and caring. But they aren't all that bright. Perhaps its what comes of being so laid back, that they aren't as sharp as their Danish counterparts. I mean life here is at a very slow pace, Like everyone is on holiday all the time. Danes English is better on the whole than Australians with so many mistakes being made in the language here. You're and your, too and to etc etc. But I guess thats the same as in UK, Native speakers tend to get a bit lazy with their own langauge. But who needs masterminds anyway. I'd rather be treated like a princess, and they do that very well! Danes are a little awkward when treating a woman like a princess I have found, and they tend to think of themselves first and as an afterthought the lady. Interesting observations though, and yes I realise Im totally generalising but I assumed you realise this is as always all about my experience. Do you think men can be bright AND caring..? In my experience it seems to be one or the other...

I wish I was Aussie though and could just melt the part of my brain away that thinks and worries all the time. I am in fact stressed right now as there have been a few problems with the tenant in my apartment. hard to deal with when so far away but thankfully Piet is helping. Wish Id sold the place before travelling, so much less hassle!

So tonight.. maybe some wii, maybe some drinks before my big Aussie night out tomorrow... bit scared now... :)
Wondering if I should stay here now or come home still...Where oh where is my place in the world...?

Thursday, 27 March 2008

Birthday in Perth day

Australians are so sweet and simple..just downright nice people...who like to drink! Picture is of me being taken to dinner at Uber in Perth

So I am 32. Nyah its just a number.. I feel 22. It was nice to be surrounded by good people on my birthday though, felt really safe and cared for. Was only a bit ruined later in the night by an sms from the ex. Even so had a lovely evening, and going out on the town with everyone this weekend for a full on Aussie drinking session..I think it may kill me :)

Thanks for all your good wishes, means a lot to me.

I did have a bit of a cry though, when one of my friends gave me a hug and told me whilst I was in Australia he would make sure I was safe and taken care of. That was nice.

They even got me a cheesecake birthday cake with candles and everything..its been a long time since I had a birthday cake.

A few things have been reminding me that i am supposed to be leaving this beautiful place and heading back to DK, and as much as i miss Piet and Mie and my other friends, I dont really think I want to come home. Its all hassle and stress there, problems with my apartment, my ex... so may look at job opportunities here.. cant hurt can it... ?

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Aussie rules!

I am loving Australia! I think I may emigrate here after all... my first impressions are that its clean and friendly the people are absolutely fricking gorgeous... men and women! Ooh and I love koalas they are sooo cuddly and sleepy!! Not to mention the food is great and the sunshine...well a winter where it goes down to "as low as" 20 degrees haha!

Wonder if I can find a job out here...? No wait I live in denmark... hang on a moment I dont have a job in denmark either... right, first country to give me a job gets me! hahaha :)

Tonight I get to experience the australian cinema... and tomorrow... my birthday... 32... not looking forward to THAT one....!

Monday, 24 March 2008

Land down under...

So I woke up this morning in Australia!!! the sun is shining and it is soooo quiet!! Crazy.

Luke picked me up from the airport and when I got to the house there were easter eggs and bubble bath waiting for me on my bed :) What a lovely start...! So now we are off to the beach and this afternoon we are cuddling koalas and feeding kanagaroos......

Pic is of me and my first brekkie in Perth ( about20 mins ago...) :)

(Can you see the blond hair...?!)

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Angel In Brunei

Well after a complete let down in Philippines.. ended up at the airport hotel, which was actually better for my 3am flight. Currently in Brunei, and this evening will be in Australia... 3 countries in one day!!! I look like crap, after a diet of chocolate little sleep, and being talked into highlights at the hairdresser in philippines (just a haircut have highlights very pretty...just a haircut have highlights yes?...just a haircut please.. highlights!!! Whereupon they proceed to place a pink hat on my head and pull parts of my hair through the holes...) I have never had highlights in my hair in my life... now I look blonde...seriously, its kinds embarassing... have no pics yet but soon...sooon you will see a blond Angel!

Soon be in Australia, was reading the newspaper this morning and there was an article about all the brits emigrating to australia..wonder if I will be one of those....

Saturday, 22 March 2008

Leaving on a jet plane...

So all packed up.. excess things removed from baggage and ready to go. Currently in a wifi cafe waiting for my friends to be home.. going to their apartment at 5pm so will be closer to the airport ready for my 3am start...!

Totally excited and cant wait to get to Australia now. Have enjoyed the Philippines though, the people are friendly, I will say that for them!

This is the part of my travel that I didnt think I would get to do, and I really cat afford it, but it helps to have friends, because staying with Luke will keep my costs down a lot and enhance my experience!

All my friends that have been to Australia tend to emigrate out there..wonder if I will want to do that...

Seriously in need of a job as soon as I get back.. have been sending out applications everywhere so hoping something comes back!! But I think I will be rather in debt! Having problems with Internet Explorer so cant even access my online banking as it doesnt work with firefox.. so Im pretty fucked...

Still travelling has given me so much, meeting so many people, seeing where in the world I fit, and learning so much about myself and the world.

Perhaps I dont need those roots after all. Thinking of going back into charity work and working with people in poorer countries with doctors without borders or VSO or something.

I wonder what I will be and where I will be this time next year....

Friday, 21 March 2008

Waltzng Angel

I am outrageously excited about going to Perth. Not only will I get to cuddle koalas and see kangaroos but I know my friend Luke will totally look after me, and right now I am in dire need of some TLC. As some of you remember, for me, birthdays aren´t good...

So Im packing my bags and throwing stuff out to lighten the load, theres stuff strewn all over the room :)

My legs are covered in bruises though, and my bruises at the moment just dont seem to go away! Some have been there for months... weird. Still at least the tan covers them...

The plan after Oz is Bali...making my way back to Thailand for May 1st for my flight back to DK...

So my view on the Philippines... manila is a dirty town, with kids literally shitting and peeing in the streets. Its a 3rd world country, but the islands are beautiful. Its a catholic country fighting with American ´values´. Mcdonalds, burger king, starbucks and prostitution all over the place. children everywhere, or pregnant country. Women are highly sexed and sexualised and tend to throw themselves at any foreigner they can for a ticket to a better place. Whether they are married ...or not, No Catholic morals here! Its a beautiful country with friendly people., and lots of the spanishness left in the culture and the people.

Right now to finish packing....!

Thursday, 20 March 2008

The lonely and the perverse

Well I like the people that take the time to know me. And they do seem to like me. But perhaps Anonymous is right. I am not that' likeable or at least difficult to understand. And its very true that I do attract the lonely and the perverse. But I cant change who I am, although I am on a journey trying. But I will never be someone who is false, who lies to peoples faces, who drinks myself to vomit stage and then talks about how drunk I was next morning...and the following weekend, I wont be selfish or cruel. And I wont be inconsiderate and maybe I wont change that much...
But I think at the end of the day, everyone is a little perverse and/or lonely... even you. Who isn't? :)
Still cheered up yesterday went out to get frozen yoghurt and they gave me a free batch to take out..its nice little things like that that lift you up.

Tomorrow Im off to my friends apartment to get some rest before I fly very early sunday to Australia!! Sooo looking forward to being spoiled on my birthday-that hasnt happened for years!

Also excited about coming home soon, and finding out what my new life will be....

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Here we go..

Sorry Doc! Here we go....ready...?

I dont like people. I dont like Americans. I dont like (most) women. I dont like false people. I dont like people who use people. I dont like people.

Perhaps Im just not good at people. I mean I good at reading them but Im no good at relationships. People generally end up hating me, and I generally end up cutting people out my life.

Still I am ready now for my next destination....AUSTRALIA!

Yes I am spending my birthday in Perth this year.. Its 35 degrees its a beach, its a mate with a pool.. what more could a girl want...?!

Been to an island for the weekend and tried my first attempt at diving..crazy!Nice to get out the city though...pic is me on the island. Did a lot of snorkelling and stuff..great fun!

Now I have another cold (!) and its holy week, so hunkering down in a hotel in Quezon City... flying out 7am sunday to Brunei and from there...Australia :) Im so excited!!!

Thursday, 13 March 2008

Note to self

1. sell apartment

2. find new apartment that allows cats in kbh

3. find a job

4. find a new car

5. spend crazy weekends in paris or berlin

6. talk to handsome strangers

7. play hard to get

8. be yourself

9. make new friends

10. go out more with mie

11. spend more time with piet

12. try and get to see marianne more

13. enjoy life more

14. get PMDD sorted out.

Playing hard to get

I learned early at school that ignoring a boy only makes him work harder. So why cant I keep to this rule? The more you chase a guy the more he backs away. Its a well known fact that men enjoy the thrill of the chase. Which is why men I dont want to get involved with chase me. And the men I am interested in run away as fast as possible...

So therefore I must learn to be disinterested in men. Which I plan to be, because I intend to... get a life, and not one that involves waiting around for a guy.

So now there are a new set of rules:

1. Absolutely no chasing guys; let them do all the work.

Out with the crap.

I feel awful, cant wait for this darn period to start. I know its not nice to talk about but its my life and this affects me big time.

Have had no energy at all, been laying around reading. Took myself to the movies and watched jumper (disappointing!) with a big bag of chips and a coke and a fruit shake. Just not in the mood for people right now. For one thing I can hardly move!

Im amazed how I have gotten used to this room and the insects and stuff... been here a week now and it feels like home.

Have been trying to get my brain used to coming home... so have organised a huge party.. thought that may help bring me back to denmark with a jolt. Thing is Im crap at organising parties...

And today a nearly complete stranger over the net offered not only to pick me up from the airport but to help me pick up the cats!! Im going to start trusting people more now I think. And accepting help. Before I wouldnt have but, heck, I need the help so why not!

I am also going to stop dating people who dont give a ´crap about me. I dont know why I do that. Actually I do and its bad. But I know now I deserve more. Men can do the legwork from now on. Thats not to say I wont work with them, but if someone wants me he can darn well show it, and I wont accept anything less.

You see before the guys that showed they loved me, I let go. And the ones that didnt I tried to hold on to. This is wrong. The people that love me for me, who ae willing to understand me, keep promises and do things for me-these are the people I want in my life. SO out with the crap and in with the good!

Doc Nielsen.. are you on facebook.. because theres a party you should attend. And Thomas.. join facebook please!!! xx

Wednesday, 12 March 2008


PMSING so gonna rant and generalise a while.

Why are americans so opinionated and insincere. All this have a nice day shit with a false smile, I dont buy it. Especially when under the surface lurks a passive aggrssive. Id rather people be genuine and honest, but not honest in a blunt and disrespectful way. Say what you feel thats what I say. Dogmatism drives me crazy. I mean I am self depricating but dont treat me like im stupid or my opinion is worthless.Geeez.

Still met some more nice people yesterday, and irish lad and a Dutch guy. Sweet people , gave me a book on the philippines to help my travels.

My visa runs out 25 before my birthday, and although it would be nice to spend my birthday with friends here, I think its almost time to go. So I am looking at taking off to boracay island and then after flying out of the philippines. Looking at Hong kong or australia next...

Tuesday, 11 March 2008


PMSing like hell, tired and in tears and feeling totally sad and lonely. I hate feeling desperate like this. I see pictures of people with their families and I get sad. I hear news of friends getting married and having babies and although I am so happy for them I feel sad. I feel like I am never going to find that kind of happiness. I miss being loved and cared for. I miss the warmth of someone holding me, stroking my hair-its been so long now. I will soon be back in Denmark and all I really want to see after the long flight is a friendly face and a hug. But there is no one to meet me, or hug me, or tell me they missed me. No one misses me. I am not important to anyone. No one would miss me if I disappeared. I am nothing. And i know getting sad like this just makes it worse, no one wants to be with someone so sad. I feel like i am freefalling through the universe with no one to catch me.

Monday, 10 March 2008

American Idiot

So I ditched the yank today. I think its a cultural thing that they are arrogant dogmatic and annoying. I mean Danes are confident but I havent met many who are all that arrogant ...yet (ok christian but he was at least endearing with it). Give me a Dane ANY day :)

Makes me sad though, Ill be travelling the philippines alone now, which is exciting but also lonlely and a bit scary.. you know..

Had a great time tonight with Cora, went to a MAD restuarant where you cant help but smile. That was nice :)

Pic is of me and Cora in Intramuros (Manila old town) yesterday.

Sunday, 9 March 2008

The wheel of fortune

So Cora took me around Manla today, saw the old parts of town left from the spanish occupation and learned all about Dr Rizal. And then we went to have our fortunes told- boy was this guy good (pictured left). He told me about the lost baby, about the ex husband and even that I was a love martyr (his words) to my last boyfriend and that I was still in love with him and that I love very much! He also said that I have a temper (reading my palm) and that I should be careful as when I get angry I throw things (totally true!)He told me that someone in my family was ill, and basically everything thats happened to me. Amazing.

And THEN he told my future. Apparently this year I will get married, and have a child- a baby boy! My husband will be younger than me, and of a different nationality. He said that once I have a child I will be happy in life. He told me that Ive had rough couple of years but this is coming to an end soon, and that from July onwards things will be luckier. He said that I will be finding a new job (so a job then) And I asked if if I should start my own business, he said that I will but after I marry and that my husband will help me! He said my health is not good and I should take care, and that also I should take care of my possesions as I may lose something. I asked hiim what country I should be in and he said Asia shows strongly, not the philippines but somewhere in asia. He said that I would be getting an invite to a big event, a wedding or party soon.

The things he said were very similar to the Vietnam fortune teller but this guy gave more details! It was amazing that he knew so much about me! A friend of Coras went and she was told shed get married soon, she was skeptical as shed just broken up with someone, but she did get married when he told her she would! SO lets see what happens and if any of this comes true....

Also met up with more friends of Damian today, really nice people, so have lots of great contacts here now!


So the PMDD has kicked in and I am so tired and fighting all sorts of emotions (but I AM fighting) Firstly Christian, is, well being christian. Secondly Im getting a bit tired of Jackson already.. hes a bit...well american. So Im not sure about travelling around with him so much now... maybe I will just ditch him and go it alone.

At this time of the month my shell breaks down and I get paranoid and people seem mean (or maybe they just are..), and I cant be witty or hold a decent conversation. Hate it.

Anyways todays pic is me and Jackson atop the volcano yesterday.

Today, Cora is going to show me around old Manila and we are going to visit a fortune teller... lets see what this one has to say....

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Stop the world

The last few days have been pretty hectic! Today I rode horseback up to a volcano, otherwise been out partaying with the Manilians.

Now my apartment may be available earlier than planned, and suddenly I start thinking of "home" and panic a bit. I have no car now, and I have to pick my cats up from the country, not sure how thats going ´to happen! Also need to get home from airport.


Also started thinking about the people I cared for in Denmark and miss them a lot, although many of them dont want to see me even when I come back.

I do miss "home" but Im scared about coming back. I really have to find a new job very soon, otherwise I dont know what to do! I think I just have to sell my apartment, then maybe I will go travel again. I dont think i will ever get the chance to settle down and grow roots.

Argh havent figured anything out yet!!!

Picture is of me dancing drunkenly with Kitt and her girlfriend at Havana´s

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Partying with midgets

y Im loving Manila! Last night went out with my two favourite people, Jackson and Cora, and had a fantastic time. When to a place called the hobbit house, whos staff consist entirely of midgets... Jackson and Cora are two really great people and I absolutely love every second I spend with both of them.

Also the cocoon is breaking open and I feel the butterfly is about to emerge. Im totally finding out who I am, coming out of my shell, amazing myself about how confident and friendly Im becoming, but most people in Manila are friendly. They are also very service orientated and so far in both those regards its the best Ive come across in Asia. It also must be one of the poorest countries, but it seems everyone here has a genuine smile on their face.. the poorer you are the happier you are it would seem! I think I may be becoming a person I actually like :)

Plans for tonight; Out partying with Josie, Cora, Kit, and Jackson and some others going to Havana.

Plans for the weekend;Macaraban island

Wednesday, 5 March 2008


So the trip went ok, arrived at Kota Kinabalu airport, and was heavily questioned about not having an onward ticket from Manila, but eventually they let me through. Painless two hour flight to Clark Airport Manila, and then 2.5 hour Coach to Manila metro.

My faith in humanity is also restored, Cora kindly came and met me from the bus which was really nice of her, especially as it was dark and quite scary (think I took the wrong bus). She is such a sweety, shes taking me out on the town tonight...

Met up again with Jackson, which was nice, and we had dinner and a good chat.. missed intelligent conversation the past few weeks!

So Manila.. really is a developing country, of all the asian countries Ive been too this looks the most impoverished. Lots of street kids out begging, Cora says itøs because its a Catholic society and contraception is not allowed. But (apart from in my hostel) people seem very friendly.

My room consist of a bed with a very thin mattress (and a few cockroaches) and shared bathroom,, which is all you need really, but I dont feel quite safe here, so although its the cheapest I may try and find another place to stay if I can. I mean its ok for a night or so, but for a week, I think my delicate back is going to ache big time.

Anyway off to explore today, Im a bit uncertain of this place and it doesnt feel as safe as other places I have been, but things seem different when arriving tired at night so lets see what today brings :)

Update: Great to have Cora to help me! Pic is of Cora introducing me to Halo halo: a Philippino dessert. Tonight: Off to the midget bar....

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Humans will be humans

People are funny creatures. I dont really understand them. They are mean and gossipy and it seems you cant trust them. So many times I trust people and they let me down. Will that stop me trusting?Probably not. But maybe I should be a bit less honest and open in future.

Thinking about it, I quite like it here in my own little travelling world, away from the backstabbers, and the competition and the games people play.

Perhaps my next career should be a hermit :)

Seriously though, I find it hard to fit it to all that bitching and game playing. I know I probably shouldnt take it to heart but it does get to me.

Well at least I know I am a good person, whatever anyone says. I am strong and brave and I am almost happy with who I am. I can look myself in the mirror at least and say Im ok.

Off to the Phillipines in a couple of hours.. looong journey but hoping its worth it. After that may go to Hong Kong... we will see.

So in someways I am looking forward to coming back and starting afresh in Denmark with new friends and a fresh attitude. in others, I am not looking forward to the game playing and back stabbing- Im just not cut out for it. So perhaps I should stay out here, where men are gentlemen and they have respect for women. Although, I guess anywhere you go humans will be humans...

Monday, 3 March 2008


Trying to explain where I come from is not easy. (I come from England but I live in Denmark...) What is less easy is trying to explain where I am going to and what I am doing! (I quit my job and Im just travelling...)Had a great taxi driver today, asking me a billion questions in broken english, but when I said I live in denmark he said ahhh CARLSBERG!

So there was trip of Danes out there today and I think so far the danes have been the most suspicious and unfriendly people I have met. I even spoke Danish! The nicest so far are the malaysians and the singaporeans. Example male malaysian strangers on the plane both ways made sure i had a drink before they took one, this has never happend on my other flights! Its this old fashioned gentlemanliness I miss.

Well people ask me if I am married and I say no, they look at me with great pity and say ohhhh Im so sorry. And then they ask why and I tell them Im divorced and they are again really sympatheic. Divorce here isnt common, again the traditional values hold.

So I saw Orangutangs today fantastic experience! I didnt even take a tour I organised it all by myself, even found buses on my own, which are like minibuses, like the ones in mexico thomas, remember?:)

The Malaysians have been nothing but friendly and helpful to me, I feel quite safe here travelling alone.

Moving on to the phillipines tomorrow where there is kidnapping of tourists and pirates.. hmm... sure it will be ok.

Whilst in Sandakan I visited the ex POW camp, which made me cry... thousands died there and in death marches accross the jungle. The japanese were very evil people! Todays photo is detail from the gate to the memorial park which is now where the camps were.

Ok so friendliest so far: Malaysians.

Second friendliest: Singaporeans

The women here are very beautiful, there are so many mixes, lots of chinese and indians and malay. The women in singapore were amazing looking. The thai women, not so pretty and most of them seemed obsessed with their looks, always applying make up!

Im meeting up with people in the Phillipines, Cora in Manila, a friend of a friend whoøs taking me out on the town. And Jackson who I am travelling with. Will be nice to have some company again. It will be a hard journey though, as my flight goes into Clark airport which is a 3 hour journey from Metro Manila, still gives me time to meet and talk with new people huh?

Talking about new people, have already met some really nice people on Makes me feel hopeful that there is someone out there for me! Although I wish someone would choose a man for me, because I dont seem to be able to pick them that well! Still makes me look forward to returning to denmark :)

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Happy families

Sometimes I write in here for my benefit, as I dont have a good memory it helps me keep a track of stuff.

So my last period was 15th Jan. I can now feel it starting again; boobs swelling, tiredness, aches starting in, and mood dropping. PMDD approaching.

Today I almost cried when I watched a family playing in the pool, mum dad and cute kid. I want that. So I have decided if I am ever to find my happy little family I have to do something about it. So I joined another dating site (not Thing is dating sites are all very well but you only know the chemistry in person, so perhaps its a waste of time, but it gives me some
thing to do, someone to tallk to, and perhaps a bit of hope that someone out there may actually be interested in me. Also if I come back and am ready to start dating again, I will have lots of dates lined up already!

My birthday is coming up this month (26th) which makes me 32 this year. I thought by the time I was 32 Id be married with at least a couple of kids.

Im a very loving person, and when I love I love deeply and faithfully. I do so want to have children and teach my child all the things Ive seen and learned. I wonder if that will ever happen`?

Fly to Sandakan tomorrow to see the Ornagutangs in the jungle, and Tuesday I fly to Manila. Staying in a hostel that has wifi and cheap beds as I have to be there for around a week, waiting for Jackson to finish his work and come travel with me. Im glad to have someone to travel with, the phillipines can be quite dangerous with kidnappings and bombings and stuff. Must remember to register at the embassies..