Friday, 28 March 2008
Thursday, 27 March 2008
So I am 32. Nyah its just a number.. I feel 22. It was nice to be surrounded by good people on my birthday though, felt really safe and cared for. Was only a bit ruined later in the night by an sms from the ex. Even so had a lovely evening, and going out on the town with everyone this weekend for a full on Aussie drinking session..I think it may kill me :)
Thanks for all your good wishes, means a lot to me.
I did have a bit of a cry though, when one of my friends gave me a hug and told me whilst I was in Australia he would make sure I was safe and taken care of. That was nice.
They even got me a cheesecake birthday cake with candles and everything..its been a long time since I had a birthday cake.
A few things have been reminding me that i am supposed to be leaving this beautiful place and heading back to DK, and as much as i miss Piet and Mie and my other friends, I dont really think I want to come home. Its all hassle and stress there, problems with my apartment, my ex... so may look at job opportunities here.. cant hurt can it... ?
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Wonder if I can find a job out here...? No wait I live in denmark... hang on a moment I dont have a job in denmark either... right, first country to give me a job gets me! hahaha :)
Tonight I get to experience the australian cinema... and tomorrow... my birthday... 32... not looking forward to THAT one....!
Monday, 24 March 2008
(Can you see the blond hair...?!)
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Soon be in Australia, was reading the newspaper this morning and there was an article about all the brits emigrating to australia..wonder if I will be one of those....
Saturday, 22 March 2008
Totally excited and cant wait to get to Australia now. Have enjoyed the Philippines though, the people are friendly, I will say that for them!
This is the part of my travel that I didnt think I would get to do, and I really cat afford it, but it helps to have friends, because staying with Luke will keep my costs down a lot and enhance my experience!
All my friends that have been to Australia tend to emigrate out there..wonder if I will want to do that...
Seriously in need of a job as soon as I get back.. have been sending out applications everywhere so hoping something comes back!! But I think I will be rather in debt! Having problems with Internet Explorer so cant even access my online banking as it doesnt work with firefox.. so Im pretty fucked...
Still travelling has given me so much, meeting so many people, seeing where in the world I fit, and learning so much about myself and the world.
Perhaps I dont need those roots after all. Thinking of going back into charity work and working with people in poorer countries with doctors without borders or VSO or something.
I wonder what I will be and where I will be this time next year....
Friday, 21 March 2008
So Im packing my bags and throwing stuff out to lighten the load, theres stuff strewn all over the room :)
My legs are covered in bruises though, and my bruises at the moment just dont seem to go away! Some have been there for months... weird. Still at least the tan covers them...
The plan after Oz is Bali...making my way back to Thailand for May 1st for my flight back to DK...
So my view on the Philippines... manila is a dirty town, with kids literally shitting and peeing in the streets. Its a 3rd world country, but the islands are beautiful. Its a catholic country fighting with American ´values´. Mcdonalds, burger king, starbucks and prostitution all over the place. children everywhere, or pregnant mothers..catholic country. Women are highly sexed and sexualised and tend to throw themselves at any foreigner they can for a ticket to a better place. Whether they are married ...or not, No Catholic morals here! Its a beautiful country with friendly people., and lots of the spanishness left in the culture and the people.
Right now to finish packing....!
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Tomorrow Im off to my friends apartment to get some rest before I fly very early sunday to Australia!! Sooo looking forward to being spoiled on my birthday-that hasnt happened for years!
Also excited about coming home soon, and finding out what my new life will be....
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
I dont like people. I dont like Americans. I dont like (most) women. I dont like false people. I dont like people who use people. I dont like people.
Perhaps Im just not good at people. I mean I good at reading them but Im no good at relationships. People generally end up hating me, and I generally end up cutting people out my life.
Still I am ready now for my next destination....AUSTRALIA!
Yes I am spending my birthday in Perth this year.. Its 35 degrees its a beach, its a mate with a pool.. what more could a girl want...?!
Been to an island for the weekend and tried my first attempt at diving..crazy!Nice to get out the city though...pic is me on the island. Did a lot of snorkelling and stuff..great fun!
Now I have another cold (!) and its holy week, so hunkering down in a hotel in Quezon City... flying out 7am sunday to Brunei and from there...Australia :) Im so excited!!!
Thursday, 13 March 2008
2. find new apartment that allows cats in kbh
3. find a job
4. find a new car
5. spend crazy weekends in paris or berlin
6. talk to handsome strangers
7. play hard to get
8. be yourself
9. make new friends
10. go out more with mie
11. spend more time with piet
12. try and get to see marianne more
13. enjoy life more
14. get PMDD sorted out.
So therefore I must learn to be disinterested in men. Which I plan to be, because I intend to... get a life, and not one that involves waiting around for a guy.
So now there are a new set of rules:
1. Absolutely no chasing guys; let them do all the work.
Have had no energy at all, been laying around reading. Took myself to the movies and watched jumper (disappointing!) with a big bag of chips and a coke and a fruit shake. Just not in the mood for people right now. For one thing I can hardly move!
Im amazed how I have gotten used to this room and the insects and stuff... been here a week now and it feels like home.
Have been trying to get my brain used to coming home... so have organised a huge party.. thought that may help bring me back to denmark with a jolt. Thing is Im crap at organising parties...
And today a nearly complete stranger over the net offered not only to pick me up from the airport but to help me pick up the cats!! Im going to start trusting people more now I think. And accepting help. Before I wouldnt have but, heck, I need the help so why not!
I am also going to stop dating people who dont give a ´crap about me. I dont know why I do that. Actually I do and its bad. But I know now I deserve more. Men can do the legwork from now on. Thats not to say I wont work with them, but if someone wants me he can darn well show it, and I wont accept anything less.
You see before the guys that showed they loved me, I let go. And the ones that didnt I tried to hold on to. This is wrong. The people that love me for me, who ae willing to understand me, keep promises and do things for me-these are the people I want in my life. SO out with the crap and in with the good!
Doc Nielsen.. are you on facebook.. because theres a party you should attend. And Thomas.. join facebook please!!! xx
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
Why are americans so opinionated and insincere. All this have a nice day shit with a false smile, I dont buy it. Especially when under the surface lurks a passive aggrssive. Id rather people be genuine and honest, but not honest in a blunt and disrespectful way. Say what you feel thats what I say. Dogmatism drives me crazy. I mean I am self depricating but dont treat me like im stupid or my opinion is worthless.Geeez.
Still met some more nice people yesterday, and irish lad and a Dutch guy. Sweet people , gave me a book on the philippines to help my travels.
My visa runs out 25 march..day before my birthday, and although it would be nice to spend my birthday with friends here, I think its almost time to go. So I am looking at taking off to boracay island and then after flying out of the philippines. Looking at Hong kong or australia next...
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Monday, 10 March 2008
Sunday, 9 March 2008
And THEN he told my future. Apparently this year I will get married, and have a child- a baby boy! My husband will be younger than me, and of a different nationality. He said that once I have a child I will be happy in life. He told me that Ive had rough couple of years but this is coming to an end soon, and that from July onwards things will be luckier. He said that I will be finding a new job (so a job then) And I asked if if I should start my own business, he said that I will but after I marry and that my husband will help me! He said my health is not good and I should take care, and that also I should take care of my possesions as I may lose something. I asked hiim what country I should be in and he said Asia shows strongly, not the philippines but somewhere in asia. He said that I would be getting an invite to a big event, a wedding or party soon.
The things he said were very similar to the Vietnam fortune teller but this guy gave more details! It was amazing that he knew so much about me! A friend of Coras went and she was told shed get married soon, she was skeptical as shed just broken up with someone, but she did get married when he told her she would! SO lets see what happens and if any of this comes true....
Also met up with more friends of Damian today, really nice people, so have lots of great contacts here now!
At this time of the month my shell breaks down and I get paranoid and people seem mean (or maybe they just are..), and I cant be witty or hold a decent conversation. Hate it.
Anyways todays pic is me and Jackson atop the volcano yesterday.
Today, Cora is going to show me around old Manila and we are going to visit a fortune teller... lets see what this one has to say....
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Also the cocoon is breaking open and I feel the butterfly is about to emerge. Im totally finding out who I am, coming out of my shell, amazing myself about how confident and friendly Im becoming, but most people in Manila are friendly. They are also very service orientated and so far in both those regards its the best Ive come across in Asia. It also must be one of the poorest countries, but it seems everyone here has a genuine smile on their face.. the poorer you are the happier you are it would seem! I think I may be becoming a person I actually like :)
Plans for tonight; Out partying with Josie, Cora, Kit, and Jackson and some others going to Havana.
Plans for the weekend;Macaraban island
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
My faith in humanity is also restored, Cora kindly came and met me from the bus which was really nice of her, especially as it was dark and quite scary (think I took the wrong bus). She is such a sweety, shes taking me out on the town tonight...
Met up again with Jackson, which was nice, and we had dinner and a good chat.. missed intelligent conversation the past few weeks!
So Manila.. really is a developing country, of all the asian countries Ive been too this looks the most impoverished. Lots of street kids out begging, Cora says itøs because its a Catholic society and contraception is not allowed. But (apart from in my hostel) people seem very friendly.
My room consist of a bed with a very thin mattress (and a few cockroaches) and shared bathroom,, which is all you need really, but I dont feel quite safe here, so although its the cheapest I may try and find another place to stay if I can. I mean its ok for a night or so, but for a week, I think my delicate back is going to ache big time.
Anyway off to explore today, Im a bit uncertain of this place and it doesnt feel as safe as other places I have been, but things seem different when arriving tired at night so lets see what today brings :)
Update: Great to have Cora to help me! Pic is of Cora introducing me to Halo halo: a Philippino dessert. Tonight: Off to the midget bar....
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Thinking about it, I quite like it here in my own little travelling world, away from the backstabbers, and the competition and the games people play.
Perhaps my next career should be a hermit :)
Seriously though, I find it hard to fit it to all that bitching and game playing. I know I probably shouldnt take it to heart but it does get to me.
Well at least I know I am a good person, whatever anyone says. I am strong and brave and I am almost happy with who I am. I can look myself in the mirror at least and say Im ok.
Off to the Phillipines in a couple of hours.. looong journey but hoping its worth it. After that may go to Hong Kong... we will see.
So in someways I am looking forward to coming back and starting afresh in Denmark with new friends and a fresh attitude. in others, I am not looking forward to the game playing and back stabbing- Im just not cut out for it. So perhaps I should stay out here, where men are gentlemen and they have respect for women. Although, I guess anywhere you go humans will be humans...
Monday, 3 March 2008
Sunday, 2 March 2008
So my last period was 15th Jan. I can now feel it starting again; boobs swelling, tiredness, aches starting in, and mood dropping. PMDD approaching.
Today I almost cried when I watched a family playing in the pool, mum dad and cute kid. I want that. So I have decided if I am ever to find my happy little family I have to do something about it. So I joined another dating site (not dating.dk). Thing is dating sites are all very well but you only know the chemistry in person, so perhaps its a waste of time, but it gives me some
thing to do, someone to tallk to, and perhaps a bit of hope that someone out there may actually be interested in me. Also if I come back and am ready to start dating again, I will have lots of dates lined up already!
My birthday is coming up this month (26th) which makes me 32 this year. I thought by the time I was 32 Id be married with at least a couple of kids.
Im a very loving person, and when I love I love deeply and faithfully. I do so want to have children and teach my child all the things Ive seen and learned. I wonder if that will ever happen`?
Fly to Sandakan tomorrow to see the Ornagutangs in the jungle, and Tuesday I fly to Manila. Staying in a hostel http://www.friendlysguesthouse.com/ that has wifi and cheap beds as I have to be there for around a week, waiting for Jackson to finish his work and come travel with me. Im glad to have someone to travel with, the phillipines can be quite dangerous with kidnappings and bombings and stuff. Must remember to register at the embassies..