The nightmares are back. Woke up screaming this morning. All I remember was there was a huge party,, and a big house where I had bedroom, and two girls asked to see m room and then wouldnt leave. When they did leave they tried to break the door down from the outside after I slid the lock accross, onlly stopping when I yelled they would have to pa for any damage. When theyd gone I discovered the door didnt shut properly anymore. Also Christian was downstairs in an office but wasnt a central character, he was just there.
I remember from my Jungian/Freudian dream analysis training that rooms and houses are yourself. I woke up sceaming with my heart beating. And why was christian in the background??
I mean obviously I miss him but I would have hoped I would be over him by now.
And who were the girls?? Other parts of my inner psyche`?
Also the PMS started again yesterday... eating huge quantaties of food, sore breasts.. crying :(
I went to Lukes house for dinner with his family and it overwhelmed and upset me. I feel like I dont fit in anywhere, I dont know the rules for australia yet, I dont know what to say or what jokes to make. ARGH I hate this part of being in a foreign country. It took me long enough to learn the rules in denmark.
This is where I feel autistic and helpless. Im not naturally comfortable with people... having been locked in a bedroom during the years I was supposed to learn how to socialise. So I learn what to say what people laugh at, but Im still stuck on danish social rules and they dont apply here.
I feel like such a fuck up.