Tuesday, 23 September 2008

2nd class citizen

Im feeling so bad about this one Im laying awake thinking about it, so thought I had better blog it..

Dan. The guy who out of the goodness of his heart lets me stay in his spare room until I can get myself sorted, who I owe a lot too and he owes me nothing.

Why then do I feel so hurt?

Like today for instance, his friend comes over. I have spent the day cleaning the house and ironing his shirts, doing what I can to try and repay the fact that I am staying in his home. I mean I do offer money for bills and stuff but he doesnt accept it. I dont get thanked but then I dont expect it; its the least I can do.

I am very confused as to our realtionship as I thought we were friends, but he doesnt seem to want to hang out with me or anything.

Anyway today he had his friend around, and we are all sitting on the sofa, and he offers to make his friend dinner. Not that I would have accepted but I was ignored. I made a bowl of soup. So they are sitting around eating their dinner, and offer the dog a chip but not me!! That makes me feel crap.

Im not even offered a cup of tea ( not that I would accept)

I feel liek a second class citizen. I mean I am not a sponger by any means, I buy all my own stuff.. Dan said he wanted cheesecake so when we popped to the shops later I bought one, but didnt even get a thank you.

I feel like I am doing my best but I cant make Dan happy. He always comes home upset about something but nothing I do or say makes him feel better.

I think maybe he doesnt want me around, so I ask him, maybe I should move out when Im back from NZ, but he says no.

I even wrote him an email trying to expain how I felt, but he ignored it.

I hate being places I am not wanted, it gets me down.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe he expected something different from your relationship. Maybe he feels hurt.. but doesn't know how to explain or let you know how he feels. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Hi Angel.
No matter what the reason,
there is no goood reason for treating someone that way.
I do not claim to know what he is thinking but it is obviuosly not your feelings or what this treatment is doing to you.
Enjoy your time in NZ and have fun.

Regards Richard (from tassie)

Harrier said...

Angel,

As long as you treat him in the way you have been then you have nothing to worry about, yes, he should say thank you at the least,. But at the end of the day, you should feel good about yourself for what you have done for someone especialy as you do not ask for anything in return.

Yes, it is unfair that you get ignored and pushed to one side, but there could be lots of reasons behind the way he treats you, could he have more interest in the friend then the company from yourself ? Could it be that he does not see you as a friend but a lodger ? 2 thoughts, but there are many more as well.

At the end of the day, it is his loss if he does not make an effort to be friends, just as long as you feel you have done what you can then do not let it get you down. It might not be that he does not want you around, could be lots of things beyond your comprehension or control.

Ask yourself this, are you treating him as you would like to be treated yourself ? If yes, then be happy with yourself and just get on with things in the way you do.

Good to see you made it to NZ, make sure you make the most of your time there and enjoy your spare time away from the training.

x