Saturday, 7 June 2008

7th June

June 7th is always a bad day for me. It is my wedding anniversary. I feel sad on this day, but add pms, luke leaving, further rejection and the day isnt good. Stayed in bed all day on internet. Not sure what I would have done without this outlet. I got a happy anniversary email from the ex husband (??) But although I am sad about our marriage, I have managed to block him from my heart. Unfortunately Christian is in there, and of course he doesnt want to be. Nor do I want him there. Why of all people is HE there when theres a wonderful guy willing to give me anything and love me whatever, wanting to be in there. What is WRONG with me? This day last year I ended up with Oliver who I thought was an amazing james Bond type but he lives abroad and isnt looking for serious... he has a lot of women I think. I did talk to him about Christian though- I got an sms the other day that he was in town, but Im pretty sure all he wants is cheap thrills. Pretty much all anybody wants from me... except Luke, who really seems to love me. Maybe thats his downfall. How can I respect anyone stupid enough to love me?

4 comments:

Fargo said...

Okay, perhaps some home truths. If you surround yourself with people that adore you, then find yourself disliking them, perhaps some words from someone not in the fan club might work.

1. Try to exist outside yourself and have empathy with others - you are the most vain person I have never met.
2. Stop being so judgemental and generalising people to the point of removing all their personality - you ar not holding the cup of success.
3. Stop banking on your looks - they are nothing more than an idiot web in the long run.
4. Try making more friends and less lovers.
5. If your friends have desserted you, ask yourself why - were they really only after one thing?
6. Realise that all your decisions have lead you to this point - if it's not such a good point, take advise from the friends you do have (thats real friends, not your adoring fan club).
7. Be less desparate and a little more humble - you are not on a hunting expedition.

Angel said...

Fargo I always appreciate the truth. I have wonder where you get your valuations from though, as you havent met me and you dont know me. So if you judge me as vain because I write about myself on a blog and add pictures, then I guess i am vain...

2. I am trying to stop being judgemental and become a better person, thats the whole point I write here.

3. I dont feel I have any looks and certainly dont bank on them.

4.Trying

5. I think you mean deserted unless you mean they have covered me ini chocolate pudding... and I never had any in the first place.

6.I do and I dont have friends OR an adoring fanclub.

7.When you get back to the basics of it attraction is all about the caveman instincts so in a way I am on a hunting expedtion.

Anonymous said...

Fargo I think you totally miss the point of Angels blog, and you sound like a jealous schoolgirl. Cut the girl some slack, the reason she is writing here is to better herself and I think that deserves encouragement and support. If you dont like it take your nastiness elsewhere are stop reading.. Ive seen you write nastiness here before, so you seem like a bit of a stalker...

Pernille said...

Hello Angel, just want to say at you that I was follow your blog from when it start. You have been a inspiration to me, and reading your blog have helped me very much. I have cried with you and have laughed with you and looks forward to when new posts come on. You seems to be a very strong woman and the world do not always go you way. I love the way you are writing please do not stop. Knus fra Pernille