Thursday, 23 October 2008

Depressed

I am so depressed. being back on teh ward with crazy psych nurses upsets me, the way they treat people upsets me, not being able to get wheer I want upsets me, I am so tired and vulnerable, so i try and reach out for help..to the wrong people. And I tell the people that do care about me stuff I should probably keep to myself.

Wondering if I have a point to being on this planet... would prob try and commit suicide except i know the only psych ward in the area and its not worth the risk of surviving.

WHERE THE HELL DO I BELONG, AND WHATS WRONG WITH ME THAT MY HEART BELONGS TO A GUY WHO DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME AND NEVER WILL????!!!

1 comment:

Harrier said...

Going to be late for work as I want to read your last 2 posts as well, work can wait lol.

It is a real shame that they treat people badly, I assume that is what you are saying! One day they will get the same treatment and will then understand what they have done to others and hopefully learn from it.

Reaching out is good, and yes, if it is the wrong person then it doesn't help, but telling someone you care about stuff you think you should keep to yourself shouldn't hurt if that person respects you as they should do. So many people are frightened in case the person goes off them, but that is where friendship, trust & love comes into play, or at least should do.

Suicide, hmm.... That is for someone like me that is not going anywhere and nothing that matters, but for you, it is defiantly not the way to go. You have so much ahead of you, things to do, places to go, friends to make, a life to make, an endless list to go on with, and the rest of your life to do it all (not that you will ever manage all of it)

As for the guy that doesn't "GIVE A FUCK" well that is a difficult one, I have been there and done that too and it hurts like hell. But I have lived through it and am able to tell the tale, not easy at all but it does get easier with time. Look forward and not back, look at the joys to come and not the sadness you have left behind, live your life to the full as is is too short even at full term.

Steve.