Thursday, 23 October 2008

Why me?

My father hates me, my heart is broken, Im alone is a country that sucks working on a mental health ward where the staff are crazier than the clients. I have no one to turn to, and the one person I had i drove away. There is something wrong with me.

Why cant I have a normal life? Why is there always stress and hassle?

I need a guardian angel to scoop down pick me up and cradle me so I can cry as much as I want and still be protected.

Im cryin constantly, I am tired and stressed, I cant eat or sleep. one more day on the wards then a long weekend... which I intend to spend in bed all by myself- seeing as i know no one here and am tired as hell.

Just gotta get thru this week... and this year..

have a job interview in Aus when I get back so thats positive....

it feels like Im constantly fighting and I dont want to, I just want a peaceful life, with a dog , a man and contentness.

Im 32 and I feel so old, not sure how much longer can cope with this world.

Whenever I travel to english nations or their colonies I am always disappointed. Maybe I should return to asia- corrupt as the government are the people are solid.


Anonymous said...

Just remember, someone in denmark still has a special place in his heart for you.
It's not too late.

Harrier said...


A father is someone who brings you into this world, but a dad is one who helps you through it. Maybe he is lost somewhere in between, and one day will see what he has lost and will try to find it again.

The country isn't too much of a problem as you will not be there much longer, finish your training and make what you can of the situation. They do say that to work in mental health you would have to be crazy lol, I always thought that was just a saying but maybe it's true. Keep your head up and complete what you have gone there for, then move on to somewhere better.

We would all love to have a normal life, but I guess that 1% if that in this weird and wacky world could say they have a normal life as stress & hassle were put on this planet to try us all. Some cope with it and some struggle to cope with it. Nothing anyone can do would remove it all, just make it more livable than others.

I would love to pick you up and cradle you so you could cry your heart out as much as you want, if you were closer then I would, but for now just remember that there are some people out here that although they have never met you would be wiling to do it for you. Crying isn't a sin so go for it, it will help to relieve some of the stress and tiredness you are feeling and maybe help to to rest a bit better. Hope you get the rest you need this weekend and stay strong for your last week, once it is done then you can start to get back on track with your job interview and hopefully a new start.

Age is not kind to most of us, but at 32 you have a long way to go, I'm 44 and sometimes wish I could start again, but then I look back at things and realize that I have a lot ahead of me in the years to come. Make the most of your life because it goes too quickly and before you know it you will be as old as I am lol. I would love to have a peaceful life as well but alas, I'm one of the unlucky ones that never seems to get what he wants. I am learning to live with it though. Can't say that I would like to have a man and a dog though, a dog maybe :D and it would be nice to b contented once in a while, the only time I feel that is when I'm 100ft underground in the dark and no one else is around.

I really must go now as I have had a call from work moaning that I'm still at home lol, it sucks but I'm used to it, take real good care of yourself sweetheart and will catch you around soon.

Love n hugs....


Anonymous said...

Ser ud til, vi mindst er 2 i Danmark ;-)