Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Where do I belong`?
Perhaps I am destined to be a nomad- travelling the world forever. I have jobs in NZ and AU but am missing visas and lots and lots of paperwork. In Australia I will have to leave the country to apply so I will be travelling again. Should I go back to denmark? My apartment is rented out to december and then it will be empty.. my things are in storage with the completely useless moving company møblerdansk (NEVER use them) So I have with me a suitcase and a laptop- the laptop being more important... not sure I would mind too much if I mislaid my suitcase but now my laptop is my life again. So... in denmark I have Marianne, Mie..and I didnt see much of them when I was there. In Australia I have Luke and his amazing family who are so kind and wonderful to me. In Nz I have..a job offer.. In Uk I have a messed up family that I hardly speak to. SO... Australia looks like a good option... if they let me in. I dont deserve Luke. He is so wonderful to me, the perfect guy, and yet I am no good for him, older, cynical, heartbroken... what does the guy see in me??!! Do you think I will ever be able to settle down, have the child that I wanted for so long and lost, be able to enjoy my life? For the past year I have just been wanderinig around the world waiting for someone to say you belong here. But all people say is- its up to you. I am beginning to wonder if I really belong anywhere in this world, whether I deserve to be anywhere in this world.... I think Im depressed.