He promised me a fairytale... "just be in love with me" he said.... "next is a wonderful life with me" he said. He lied. He's a fucking coward- that's what he is. I am on the edge of despair because I lost his love. But what did his love really mean? Sex? Security? Happiness? What it meant was I was always waiting for him, hoping he would show me love. I threw my love at him everyday, it was his choice not to see it, catch it, keep it.
Why am I suicidal? Because I failed HIM? He failed. I worked my hardest and tried my best HE was the one that failed.
It's not like there are not any men to replace him, there are practically queues of men lining up at my door (sounds a bit naff but it's true). I am a young(ish) desirable, kind and beautiful person with a lot to give. But someone must WANT to be given it. He did not.
The way it ended has upset me a lot and I cannot stop crying, but maybe I will take one of those men up who want to try make me happy and let them look after me and cuddle me and hold me and help make me feel loved and make it all better. And don't worry I'm not that much of a heart breaker- all these people know I am in love with that one guy, I am honest about how I feel. But if they want to hold me, why shouldn't I be held whilst I cry?
I know I'm not going to get over him anytime soon but like HE says... vil bare videre nu...