Friday, 3 August 2007

Unfairytale

He promised me a fairytale... "just be in love with me" he said.... "next is a wonderful life with me" he said. He lied. He's a fucking coward- that's what he is. I am on the edge of despair because I lost his love. But what did his love really mean? Sex? Security? Happiness? What it meant was I was always waiting for him, hoping he would show me love. I threw my love at him everyday, it was his choice not to see it, catch it, keep it.

Why am I suicidal? Because I failed HIM? He failed. I worked my hardest and tried my best HE was the one that failed.

It's not like there are not any men to replace him, there are practically queues of men lining up at my door (sounds a bit naff but it's true). I am a young(ish) desirable, kind and beautiful person with a lot to give. But someone must WANT to be given it. He did not.

The way it ended has upset me a lot and I cannot stop crying, but maybe I will take one of those men up who want to try make me happy and let them look after me and cuddle me and hold me and help make me feel loved and make it all better. And don't worry I'm not that much of a heart breaker- all these people know I am in love with that one guy, I am honest about how I feel. But if they want to hold me, why shouldn't I be held whilst I cry?

I know I'm not going to get over him anytime soon but like HE says... vil bare videre nu...

5 comments:

sebastian said...

I,m sorry you're sad and hope you will be better soon....but please....wake up and smell the coffee...it's not the end...it's not even the beginning of the end....it's the end of the beginning (Churchill).
love
Sebastian from Frederiksberg.

Thomas Ebdrup said...

Im glad it sounds like you have started to come to terms with the fact that he stiks.

Yes choose one of those guys that truly love you and will devote their life to you. But remeber that they should not feel like second choice or they will run away.

Im sure you are right when you say that they are queing up outside your door.

Just chosse the right one. Im sure he is arround.

heathen said...

Hi Angel........ad I wrote on a different site......your not alone...and you´re not the only one whos been in that situation....you got my contact-info, if you wan´t to talk :-)

Doc Nielsen said...

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

I am sure you will find yours again

Anonymous said...

Angel,

Your love is locked up in a small chest. Rather than throwing away the chest, find the key - alone or with help.

You're the backwards butterfly that crawled back into the cocoon of hurt love. It may smell homey in there but it's a dead end and will choke you. Come back out and fly like you were meant to, instead of crawling around in the dark.

- Gentleman Bob
Entomologist ;-)