Another thing I can't do is talk to my self. Well I can, but it sounds a bit strange. Today I feel very sad. I have been alone the last couple of days thinking, and with not much food left in the house. This is a dangerous combination, and combined with soppy movies about love, is heading for a sure disaster. So who do I turn to for comfort? I turned to Christian, but he doesn't want to hear my pain. He only wants to hear the good things. It's not easy this self develpment stuff, I feel I am on the edge a lot, with no support from anyone. Maybe I will blow all my savings and then do a virginia woolf.
Things look bleak, I'm terried, of now and the future. I don't know how I will cope with no job, Im fucking scared to death. And the reality is that it's not all going to be ok and there is no happy ever after to look forward to. Just more emptiness and sorrow, and I'm not sure that I am prepared to go through that anymore.