Saturday, 2 February 2008

The Thai's the limit

Why cant my body fight illness?? Jesus, spent the night (again) coughing and trying to breathe, this thing has taken my voice and at night it turns evil, been awake most of it coughing. Times like this I need to put my head on someones lap and have my hair stroked so I can fal asleep feeling safe.

Why can't my heart fight heartbreak?? Very vulnerable right now, missing the things that could have been. I'm not usually like this with men, I'm usually the one to break off. SO maybe I am leaning something about how to tread carefully with others hearts.

Why isn't my life normal?? SOrry to hear about your hellish 48 hours Bob! But why oh why cant I have that white picket fence, with dogs and children and apple trees? It's killing me living my life. People like my old "boss" Mia, has it all and whines about it. People look at my life and think themselves lucky. Maybe I am here to make others feel happy about their lives. Christian says I am negative, that I should look at things in a different way, but oh my god thats hard when it all really sucks!

Still, heading down to Pattaya as soon as I feel better, meeting someone from the interwebs who has promised to show me around, so at last real company (no offence)

The fortune teller in Vietnam said I did something bad in my past life and I am paying for it in this one, well it kind of explains it doesnt it...? maybe I should look for more answers and a cure to this..?

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