Tuesday, 11 March 2008


PMSing like hell, tired and in tears and feeling totally sad and lonely. I hate feeling desperate like this. I see pictures of people with their families and I get sad. I hear news of friends getting married and having babies and although I am so happy for them I feel sad. I feel like I am never going to find that kind of happiness. I miss being loved and cared for. I miss the warmth of someone holding me, stroking my hair-its been so long now. I will soon be back in Denmark and all I really want to see after the long flight is a friendly face and a hug. But there is no one to meet me, or hug me, or tell me they missed me. No one misses me. I am not important to anyone. No one would miss me if I disappeared. I am nothing. And i know getting sad like this just makes it worse, no one wants to be with someone so sad. I feel like i am freefalling through the universe with no one to catch me.


Anthony said...

Maybe there is someone who cares and misses you, you just have to look harder. I do not think you should despare although life may look very mean as it sometimes is.

"Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you".

I had the same feeling sometimes ago when this happened: Last year, after working for 10 months nonstop, I decided to take a 6 wks holiday to Kenya. Then things started happening, there was fighting and chaos. I managed to get myself out of there and back to work. To my big suprise, I realised everyone was very concerned about me and they me that they were very worried. My collegues sent me SMSs to ask if I was aright. My manager told me that she had decided that if i did not show up for work, she will ask the HR to find a way of flying me out of Nairobi. I realised there are people who care even if they do not show it everyday but they do care.


Anonymous said...

you know who - say the word and i'll be there for you